I don’t remember a lot from before I was born, but I do remember you getting very sick. I do remember I got very sick too. I remember them telling you that you had me in your tummy, and you were surprised, you weren’t expecting me. I remember them giving us medicine to make us better. I know they told you it would be a couple days. I would probably come early.
It was three days, and we found out my birthday would be on Tuesday, November 14th. I know you were scared. I know you had big decisions to make. And I know you prayed a lot about those big decisions.
I remember you talking to a lot of people about making a plan for me. I remember you being sad, and crying. And then scared, and crying. The people you talked to were very nice. And I know you had a lot of questions.
When I was born I know you cried. You learned about adoption, and I know that was scary and I know that made you cry. I knew you loved me. And I know you cared. That’s why you were making these very big, very hard decisions.
I was born at 10:34pm that night. I was very little, and they whisked me away from you to take care of me. You were also very sick, and they needed to take care of you. And they did. They took very good care of both of us.
I know it was after I was born that you made your decision. You told me I have two big sisters and a big brother. You didn’t know I was in your tummy. You wanted me to be loved, and grow up in a good home with a mommy and daddy that could give me everything you weren’t prepared to. You told me a lot that you loved me and that you were doing this for me.
When you chose the mommy and daddy you wanted to be mine, I remember you coming to my room. You changed my diaper, and you picked me up. You fed me and you rocked me. You sang to me. You told me that you loved me. That you weren’t giving up on me. You told me that you couldn’t give me everything I needed, but that you picked the mommy and daddy who could. You told me that you prayed about it, and talked to our grandma about it. And you had a peace about it. You knew I would be loved. You kissed me and told me that soon you’d be meeting my mommy and daddy, and that I would get to meet them too.
The next day was the day that my mommy and daddy found out about me. They were so excited. They cried a lot and called a lot of people. They got to the hospital so excited to meet me, their new daughter, but wanted to meet you, my tummy mommy first. And they did. They told me they cried and cried when they met you. They hugged you and told you that they loved you. My mommy and daddy said you spent a lot of time together. It was a couple of hours, and it was time to come see me. But where I was staying was a very special place that they keep very special babies safe, and it just wasn’t time. So they went to spend more time with you.
And the next day is when I would meet my mommy and daddy. I was sleeping when they came in the room, but after they washed their hands and got ready to see me, I remember them touching me. They loved me. I didn’t come from them, but I was theirs. I remember them holding me on their skin for the first time, and I felt so much warmth, and so much love. They loved me. They chose me. And they chose you. My mommy and daddy, they talked to me, and prayed over me, and sang to me. And they told me how much you, my tummy mommy loved me, and that she was doing this because she cared so much. She dreamed of a future for me, and she picked my mommy and daddy to give that to me.
They talk about you still. They miss you. And they love you. We sing together and dance together, and daddy prays over me every night. Every single night. We read books together and we go to church together. And we all wonder if you are doing okay. We pray for you. And we love you.
I know that you made this decision because you love me. Because you care for me. And you handpicked my mommy and daddy. How special is that.
You will always be my first mommy. I will always love you. I thank you for choosing my mommy and daddy. I'm thankful that we will always be a family. Our own special family. You will always have a piece of my heart, for only you know what it’s like to hear my heart beat from the inside.
It was three days, and we found out my birthday would be on Tuesday, November 14th. I know you were scared. I know you had big decisions to make. And I know you prayed a lot about those big decisions.
I remember you talking to a lot of people about making a plan for me. I remember you being sad, and crying. And then scared, and crying. The people you talked to were very nice. And I know you had a lot of questions.
When I was born I know you cried. You learned about adoption, and I know that was scary and I know that made you cry. I knew you loved me. And I know you cared. That’s why you were making these very big, very hard decisions.
I was born at 10:34pm that night. I was very little, and they whisked me away from you to take care of me. You were also very sick, and they needed to take care of you. And they did. They took very good care of both of us.
I know it was after I was born that you made your decision. You told me I have two big sisters and a big brother. You didn’t know I was in your tummy. You wanted me to be loved, and grow up in a good home with a mommy and daddy that could give me everything you weren’t prepared to. You told me a lot that you loved me and that you were doing this for me.
When you chose the mommy and daddy you wanted to be mine, I remember you coming to my room. You changed my diaper, and you picked me up. You fed me and you rocked me. You sang to me. You told me that you loved me. That you weren’t giving up on me. You told me that you couldn’t give me everything I needed, but that you picked the mommy and daddy who could. You told me that you prayed about it, and talked to our grandma about it. And you had a peace about it. You knew I would be loved. You kissed me and told me that soon you’d be meeting my mommy and daddy, and that I would get to meet them too.
The next day was the day that my mommy and daddy found out about me. They were so excited. They cried a lot and called a lot of people. They got to the hospital so excited to meet me, their new daughter, but wanted to meet you, my tummy mommy first. And they did. They told me they cried and cried when they met you. They hugged you and told you that they loved you. My mommy and daddy said you spent a lot of time together. It was a couple of hours, and it was time to come see me. But where I was staying was a very special place that they keep very special babies safe, and it just wasn’t time. So they went to spend more time with you.
And the next day is when I would meet my mommy and daddy. I was sleeping when they came in the room, but after they washed their hands and got ready to see me, I remember them touching me. They loved me. I didn’t come from them, but I was theirs. I remember them holding me on their skin for the first time, and I felt so much warmth, and so much love. They loved me. They chose me. And they chose you. My mommy and daddy, they talked to me, and prayed over me, and sang to me. And they told me how much you, my tummy mommy loved me, and that she was doing this because she cared so much. She dreamed of a future for me, and she picked my mommy and daddy to give that to me.
They talk about you still. They miss you. And they love you. We sing together and dance together, and daddy prays over me every night. Every single night. We read books together and we go to church together. And we all wonder if you are doing okay. We pray for you. And we love you.
I know that you made this decision because you love me. Because you care for me. And you handpicked my mommy and daddy. How special is that.
You will always be my first mommy. I will always love you. I thank you for choosing my mommy and daddy. I'm thankful that we will always be a family. Our own special family. You will always have a piece of my heart, for only you know what it’s like to hear my heart beat from the inside.
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