I started this blog back in September of 2016 as we were headed into the thick of adoption; the applications, and paperwork, the home studies, fingerprinting, the well water checks, and fire inspections.
I wanted this to be a space where we shared with you, our journey- we chose to open up our lives, and this calling placed on our lives to those we love. You've followed along, walked beside us, you've cheered us on, and prayed with us, you may have even shared in the sadness and disappointments that we faced while waiting for a baby to be placed in our lives.
Every situation we were faced with, each "no" that was spoken was leading us to Emmarie.
We've spent the last two years enjoying our lives as a family of three-
I stopped writing, and even shut the blog completely down for about eight months. I needed a break- but I feel it's time to get back at it. I'm thankful you're here.
Towards the end of 2018 we prayerfully considered renewing our home study for another two years; not necessarily seeking out adoption, but keeping our home study active in case a situation presented itself, or we decided to become an active, hopeful adoptive family again.
Emmarie is amazing- she's changed our lives and brought so much good. She's filled spaces in our hearts that we didn't know were empty. Life with her is great.
She is a toddler though, and we've shared hard days. There have been many occasions, in all honesty, that Kevin and I would say...uh, I'm not sure we could do this again! It's not that we can't handle her, it's not that we don't love her- it's just that toddler life...well it can be tough!
We literally just in November went through an incredibly rough patch with Emmarie and her fear of her shadow. We felt completely helpless. There was nothing we could do to take that fear from her. Every second, every minute was a problem. The light shining in the door or window the wrong way would trigger it. Lights on in the house. Driving at night. I seriously thought we'd never get through it. I felt as if I was failing her. I could not make it go away.
We got through it though; after many tears, from her and from us.
This year held many changes for us. Kevin left his job of twenty some years, starting down a completely different path, which included a change from first shift to second. And in the beginning that was incredibly tough on all of us. We adjusted though, and began to find our new normal.
Tuesday, December 3rd (just a few short weeks ago) Emmarie and I were home, we had just finished her bath and she wanted beads in her hair. I grabbed my phone, set it on the bathroom vanity beside us, and started to do Emmarie's hair. I never take my phone in the bathroom, but for some reason right then, I did. Not even 5 minutes into doing her hair, my phone buzzed. She grabbed it, and said,"da-da!?" She set it back down and I saw Angela's name from Choosing Hope on the screen.
I knew then that something was going on- I felt it in my spirit. I grabbed my phone and she was letting me know that I should be expecting an email from "mama C"- that was at 6:26pm. At 6:36 an email came from mama C and she wrote a beautiful email asking us to parent a sweet baby that was due January 10, 2020.
I cannot imagine how hard that email was to write.
Tears streamed down my face. I called Kevin at work, no answer. Texted him and told him to call me. When he called, I made sure he was sitting down. I got the words out, finally, and there was silence. I knew the tears were streaming down his face- with a shaky voice he said, "yes, babe. Yes. We have to say yes." I said, "I know dear. I wasn't really asking, I'm telling you what's happening."
A month. Literally just a little over a month to prepare for a new addition to our family. That's not much time, but we got this. God, you've called us, and we're trusting you.
I called my mom, trying to keep it together and said, I need you to come over. I said, I need my mom.
Kevin got home early that night so we could talk with Angela from Choosing Hope. There were a lot of details that needed to be figured out. The biggest: mama C was back home, states away. We needed to get her to Ohio.
We had some time though, or so we thought.
A few days later she began having braxton hicks contractions. Not a huge deal, but because Emmarie was born so early (28 weeks)- the sooner mama C could get here, the better.
Angela and her team at Choosing Hope worked tirelessly to get her and her two daughters here. They also did everything in their power to find them housing while they'd be here- furnished housing was preferable but nothing was turning up.
Here's a timeline...
Tuesday, December 3rd - we were asked to parent mama C's baby that would be born in January
Wednesday, December 4th - braxton hicks contractions
Thursday, December 5th - bus tickets booked
Friday, December 6th - furnished housing found
Saturday, December 7th - mama C and her daughters boarded a bus at 4:30pm. Back here in Ohio, folks from Choosing Hope, the community, local churches, Kevin, Emmarie and I cleaned the house from top to bottom. We put together a Christmas tree and lights, left a box of decorations for them to decorate. The fridge and kitchen were filled with food. It. Was. Amazing. Simply amazing. New bedding purchased, toys for the girls' room. All to make their stay comfortable, and as close to home as possible.
Sunday, December 8th - Kevin and I picked mama C and the girls up from the bus stop in Cincinnati. We had breakfast together and were able to take them to their new, temporary home.
Tuesday, December 10th - I took mama C to her first appointment here in Ohio with an OBGYN, where we found out that because of placenta previa baby needed delivered that day or next.
You guys. That timeline of events has God written all over it. We literally had one week. Just one week.
Tuesday, December 3, 2019 at 6:36pm we were asked to parent her baby.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019 at 5:25pm our son was born.
God. That's God.
I was able to be in the operating room, hand in hand with mama C while they performed a c-section. We prayed together, we cried together, I sang to her.
When baby was delivered, she asked me to cut the cord. I held him, and we named him together. Raiden Knox - "God's gracious gift."
We've been settled in at home for one week now. Our little guy is 17 days old, and we are adjusting to life as a family of four.
This was not our plan.
God's plans are always greater.
When we were called to adoption in 2016- if you told me just three short years later we'd have a two year old daughter and a newborn son I would have never believed it.
I stand amazed at what God has done in our lives. He's been so good to us.
And while so many say that these babies are so lucky to have us, the truth is, we are blessed and honored to have them.
What a privilege it is to be chosen by their birth mom to be their mama and dada.
I'm thankful for mama C- we love her. She is family. She needed us, and we needed her.
Please keep her in your prayers. We know she is going through an incredibly tough time- she needs love and support.
Thank you for walking alongside us. For the love, prayers and support. We're thankful you're here.
I wanted this to be a space where we shared with you, our journey- we chose to open up our lives, and this calling placed on our lives to those we love. You've followed along, walked beside us, you've cheered us on, and prayed with us, you may have even shared in the sadness and disappointments that we faced while waiting for a baby to be placed in our lives.
Every situation we were faced with, each "no" that was spoken was leading us to Emmarie.
We've spent the last two years enjoying our lives as a family of three-
I stopped writing, and even shut the blog completely down for about eight months. I needed a break- but I feel it's time to get back at it. I'm thankful you're here.
Towards the end of 2018 we prayerfully considered renewing our home study for another two years; not necessarily seeking out adoption, but keeping our home study active in case a situation presented itself, or we decided to become an active, hopeful adoptive family again.
Emmarie is amazing- she's changed our lives and brought so much good. She's filled spaces in our hearts that we didn't know were empty. Life with her is great.
She is a toddler though, and we've shared hard days. There have been many occasions, in all honesty, that Kevin and I would say...uh, I'm not sure we could do this again! It's not that we can't handle her, it's not that we don't love her- it's just that toddler life...well it can be tough!
We literally just in November went through an incredibly rough patch with Emmarie and her fear of her shadow. We felt completely helpless. There was nothing we could do to take that fear from her. Every second, every minute was a problem. The light shining in the door or window the wrong way would trigger it. Lights on in the house. Driving at night. I seriously thought we'd never get through it. I felt as if I was failing her. I could not make it go away.
We got through it though; after many tears, from her and from us.
This year held many changes for us. Kevin left his job of twenty some years, starting down a completely different path, which included a change from first shift to second. And in the beginning that was incredibly tough on all of us. We adjusted though, and began to find our new normal.
Tuesday, December 3rd (just a few short weeks ago) Emmarie and I were home, we had just finished her bath and she wanted beads in her hair. I grabbed my phone, set it on the bathroom vanity beside us, and started to do Emmarie's hair. I never take my phone in the bathroom, but for some reason right then, I did. Not even 5 minutes into doing her hair, my phone buzzed. She grabbed it, and said,"da-da!?" She set it back down and I saw Angela's name from Choosing Hope on the screen.
I knew then that something was going on- I felt it in my spirit. I grabbed my phone and she was letting me know that I should be expecting an email from "mama C"- that was at 6:26pm. At 6:36 an email came from mama C and she wrote a beautiful email asking us to parent a sweet baby that was due January 10, 2020.
I cannot imagine how hard that email was to write.
Tears streamed down my face. I called Kevin at work, no answer. Texted him and told him to call me. When he called, I made sure he was sitting down. I got the words out, finally, and there was silence. I knew the tears were streaming down his face- with a shaky voice he said, "yes, babe. Yes. We have to say yes." I said, "I know dear. I wasn't really asking, I'm telling you what's happening."
A month. Literally just a little over a month to prepare for a new addition to our family. That's not much time, but we got this. God, you've called us, and we're trusting you.
I called my mom, trying to keep it together and said, I need you to come over. I said, I need my mom.
Kevin got home early that night so we could talk with Angela from Choosing Hope. There were a lot of details that needed to be figured out. The biggest: mama C was back home, states away. We needed to get her to Ohio.
We had some time though, or so we thought.
A few days later she began having braxton hicks contractions. Not a huge deal, but because Emmarie was born so early (28 weeks)- the sooner mama C could get here, the better.
Angela and her team at Choosing Hope worked tirelessly to get her and her two daughters here. They also did everything in their power to find them housing while they'd be here- furnished housing was preferable but nothing was turning up.
Here's a timeline...
Tuesday, December 3rd - we were asked to parent mama C's baby that would be born in January
Wednesday, December 4th - braxton hicks contractions
Thursday, December 5th - bus tickets booked
Friday, December 6th - furnished housing found
Saturday, December 7th - mama C and her daughters boarded a bus at 4:30pm. Back here in Ohio, folks from Choosing Hope, the community, local churches, Kevin, Emmarie and I cleaned the house from top to bottom. We put together a Christmas tree and lights, left a box of decorations for them to decorate. The fridge and kitchen were filled with food. It. Was. Amazing. Simply amazing. New bedding purchased, toys for the girls' room. All to make their stay comfortable, and as close to home as possible.
Sunday, December 8th - Kevin and I picked mama C and the girls up from the bus stop in Cincinnati. We had breakfast together and were able to take them to their new, temporary home.
Tuesday, December 10th - I took mama C to her first appointment here in Ohio with an OBGYN, where we found out that because of placenta previa baby needed delivered that day or next.
You guys. That timeline of events has God written all over it. We literally had one week. Just one week.
Tuesday, December 3, 2019 at 6:36pm we were asked to parent her baby.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019 at 5:25pm our son was born.
God. That's God.
I was able to be in the operating room, hand in hand with mama C while they performed a c-section. We prayed together, we cried together, I sang to her.
When baby was delivered, she asked me to cut the cord. I held him, and we named him together. Raiden Knox - "God's gracious gift."
We've been settled in at home for one week now. Our little guy is 17 days old, and we are adjusting to life as a family of four.
This was not our plan.
God's plans are always greater.
When we were called to adoption in 2016- if you told me just three short years later we'd have a two year old daughter and a newborn son I would have never believed it.
I stand amazed at what God has done in our lives. He's been so good to us.
And while so many say that these babies are so lucky to have us, the truth is, we are blessed and honored to have them.
What a privilege it is to be chosen by their birth mom to be their mama and dada.
I'm thankful for mama C- we love her. She is family. She needed us, and we needed her.
Please keep her in your prayers. We know she is going through an incredibly tough time- she needs love and support.
Thank you for walking alongside us. For the love, prayers and support. We're thankful you're here.
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