The last 72 hours have been a whirlwind. A little before 5pm
on Tuesday, we got a text from Angela, the Director at Choosing Hope. She asked
if we had any more profiles. We had an extra profile book at home that we had for
ourselves, and so we said yes, and she asked our address. I told Kevin I felt
like she was coming over to get it, and wondered what was going on.
Sure enough, Angela showed up just moments later; ready to
pick up our profile book. She explained that a few days prior, a birth mom came
in, interested in adoption, and our profile book is one of the ones she sent
home with her. Meanwhile, Tuesday, Angela got a call about a situation where a
baby was being born that night by c-section, and mom was considering adoption.
Angela left for the hospital, and we found ourselves anxiously awaiting any
news. As the evening went on, we were given few details about the situation,
but would know more tomorrow (Wednesday).
Wednesday came, and we were given the following information:
Baby girl, born at 29 weeks, 2lbs and is in the NICU.
She is getting oxygen but breathing on her own.
Dr. is pleased with how she is doing and expects her to grow and thrive just fine.
She will likely have a 6-8 week stay in the NICU.
She is getting oxygen but breathing on her own.
Dr. is pleased with how she is doing and expects her to grow and thrive just fine.
She will likely have a 6-8 week stay in the NICU.
That was a 2:06pm on Wednesday 11/15.
At 2:43pm we had a text from Angela that said: If we have
more details, I am going to have Cindi call you – to watch for this #.
At 3:37pm my phone rang, it was Cindi. Cindi is the
Assistant Director at Choosing Hope, and also a nurse at Springfield Regional.
When my dad had his heart cath, she was one of his nurses, and we had time to
talk about adoption, and God’s perfect timing. Cindi asked how I was doing, and
if I remembered her from the hospital. I said yes, and Cindi said to me, Amber,
do you remember when we were talking in the hospital about God’s perfect
timing? I said, yes. She said Amber, it’s His time, you are a mommy and your
baby girl is ready to meet you. I lost it. Completely lost it. I felt as if I
couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t talk, I sobbed, and I sobbed. God did it; he
fulfilled his promise to Kevin and I that we would be parents together, through
the gift of adoption. After a few minutes of crying and being unable to talk,
Cindi asked if was okay, and told me that we needed to get to the hospital as
soon as we could. We needed to pack a small bag, in case we needed to stay.
Kevin and I rushed home, packed a bag and in less than an
hour, and we were on the road to Miami Valley Hospital. We were greeted by Angela, and Sherri (our social worker),
and we were steps closer to meeting this brave birth mom who chose life for this
little girl, who chose us to parent this beautiful baby. We ran into some problems trying to get up to meet mom, but
eventually everything was worked out, and we were on the elevator. When we
reached her floor, Angela, Sherri, Kevin and I gathered in a circle, we held
hands, and we prayed. We headed down the hallway to meet birth mom, and I felt
like I couldn’t walk, I was so nervous, I didn’t know what to expect. Kevin and
I held hands, and were ready to meet this beautiful woman, embrace her, and
love on her.
You see, a little over a year ago when we were called to
adoption, we began praying for her. We said, Lord, we do not know who she is,
but you do. You know who this birth mom will be that chooses us, you know who
this little baby is that we will bring into our home, who we will love and
raise in the admonition of you, father. We loved this birth mom, long before we
ever met her.
And the time was here. Angela knocked on her door; she asked
if we could come in. Birth mom said yes, and the tears started flowing. I was
crying before even walking in. And then we did. We walked in, and there she
was. This brave, beautiful woman. She was crying, and I walked over to her bed,
and we embraced each other, and hugged for the longest time. I remember telling
her how brave she was, and how thankful we are to her, for choosing us.
Kevin came over, and he hugged and loved on her to. We sat
down beside of her, and with her hand in mine, we listened to her hopes and
dreams for her baby. She talked to us about how she wants her to grow up in the
country, around animals, and how she wants her to grow and thrive, and go to
church. She wants her to wear bows, and tutus, but camo, and football gear are
good too. She wants her to go to church, every Sunday, even when she’s tired
and doesn’t want to go. She wants her to embrace who she is, and although our
skin color is different, that that’s okay. We talked, cried, and laughed for
over an hour.
I always imagined what this moment would look like. How it
would feel. And looking back, I don’t think there was any way for me to know
that it would be this amazing, overwhelming, and filled with so much love. So
much love.
We prayed together, and birth mom told us how she wanted us
to go see Samantha. Samantha Marie is the name that she gave her. But she told
us that she is okay with us naming her, she would just like for us to
incorporate one of those names into the name we chose. How amazing!? God is so
good. This has been so much more beautiful than I ever imagined.
We left her room, and went to the NICU, where we anticipated
running into more road blocks, and we did. We didn’t get to see our little girl
that night, but we knew that soon, we would. After waiting for at least 45 minutes, we decided to go
spend more time with birth mom. Angela had to leave for a meeting, but Sherri
went with us, to say goodbye to her. After Sherri talked with all of us a little
longer, she took off for the evening, and it was just Kevin, myself and birth
mom. And let me tell you. The Lord was right there in that room with us too.
She began to tell us how she chose us. And what stood out to her in our profile
book. What she would say next, it simply changed everything.
She looked at Kevin and she said, I know your past. I know
where you come from. I know that you were a drug addict and an alcoholic. I
know that you’ve been sober for 14 years, and I am proud of you. I am proud of
you, she said again. That shows me strength, it shows me that you are a strong
man, and I want my baby to have a strong daddy in her life. She said I am
thankful for you, I am thankful for your journey. She said you deserve a second
chance; and that is part of why I picked you.
As you can imagine, Kevin and I couldn’t keep the tears from
flowing, we sobbed. It was the most amazing I’ve ever witnessed.
You see, all throughout this journey, if we can be really
honest here, that was Kevin’s number one fear. Not being chosen because of his
past, because of who he used to be. Only he, I and the Lord knew that fear.
There is no way that she (birth mom) could have ever known that. God was
working through her, and I saw Jesus in her in that moment. It was incredible.
I get goosebumps every time I think about that. And I will never forget it. I
certainly know Kevin won’t either. That was life changing for both of us, and
to me, I believe the beginning of healing in Kevin’s heart.
And then, she looked at me, and she said, and you, you
deserve to be a mother. She said being a mother is the most incredible thing
you could ever experience. She said that when she was in surgery (having a c-section),
she said she didn’t know what the outcome would be. She was early; the baby was
only 29 weeks. When baby girl was born, and birth mom woke from surgery, they
told her the baby was a girl, and she said out loud, Amber is getting her baby
girl!
Speechless. Crying. Overwhelmed. Amazed. Just a few of the
many feelings I felt in that moment.
She told us that she put our profile book at the end of her
bed Tuesday night. She prayed over her decision, she talked with her
grandmother (who adopted and raised her) and they prayed together, and were
given peace with her decision to choose us.
You guys. Adoption is scary. It’s messy. It’s hard, just
hard. But my gosh, is it ever SO WORTH IT. Worth every tear, every fear, and
every worry. God has moved in ways the past few days that is just miraculous.
And I’m sure this is just the beginning. This little girl of ours, she’s a
fighter. She is doing incredibly well. We were told today that she does not
have to meet a certain weight in order to go home; she just has to meet certain
criteria, and once she’s reached all those goals set for her, she can come home
to be with us.
Kevin and I battled with naming her, because her birth mom
had given her the name Samantha Marie. And we would never in any way want to
take away from what she felt in her heart, or offend her; but she did say that
she wanted us, her parents to name her; just to incorporate one of the two names she
had given her. We prayed about it, and the Lord gave us two names. On Thursday
night we found the perfect time to talk to birth mom about naming this
beautiful baby. We told her the first name we decided on, incorporating Marie,
and we could just tell that wasn’t it. And then we told her “Emmarie Rain”, and
birth mom got the biggest, most beautiful smile across her face, and she said
that’s it. That’s our baby’s name. Emmarie Rain, she said. Emmarie Rain. And
she just got louder and louder, and it got more powerful, and it was amazing.
We cried, and cried. And she said it’s perfect. And then I said, let me tell
you the meaning behind each of these names. Emmarie means strong and powerful.
Marie means sea of sorrow, and wished for child. And rain means emotional, and
sensitive, imagination is rich, and fascinated by music and poetry. Birth mom
said “that’s me.” “All of those things are me.” The night before we had learned
that she loves music. And she loves reading. And she is strong…so, so strong.
And this is what makes this story even more beautiful.
Birth mom was discharged home yesterday, and yesterday was hard.
Harder than I thought. We are grieving for her; we know that she is
experiencing such loss, and so much pain. We were able to spend two and a half
hours with her before she left the hospital yesterday. We talked and we
laughed. We cried and we hoped and dreamed for Emmarie’s future. We told her,
this isn’t goodbye, this is just see you later.
Guys, this is what adoption is. It’s so many wonderful, yet
heart wrenching things. It’s the gospel.
Our adoption will be open. Which means, we will share pictures
with Emmarie’s birth mom through email. We will tell her of her progress, and
share the milestones. We will experience this life of hers, together. And we
wouldn’t want it any other way. She gave her life; she made a plan for her. And
we are forever grateful for what she has done for us.
This story doesn’t end here, friends. This is just the
beginning. The beginning of an amazing story, of Choosing Hope, Giving Life,
and Loving Hard.
We are over the moon excited for you to meet our baby girl
<3
Today papers were signed, and she is ours. We are unable to
post pictures just yet, but soon! This journey has been hard, but so good. And we’ve
been so humbled at the help, the prayers, and the love that you have all given
us. We are overwhelmed by your support. Going into this, when we were called to
adoption, we questioned God of how this would ever be possible. We have good
jobs, we have a home, and we can manage the things we have, just fine. But
adoption? It’s expensive. Over the last one year, you have helped us reach just
over 9,000 dollars. Amazing! Absolutely amazing. We are so thankful. Forever grateful
for what you have done for us. You have helped us get steps closer to bringing
our baby home! We aren’t where we are to completely take care of the cost of
this adoption, but we know that the Lord knows our need, and we know that He
will provide. We have at least a 6-8 week stay in the NICU. But God’s got this.
He has a plan. If you would like to be a part of this, and are able to give,
even the littlest amount, we assure you that we will forever be grateful, and
we promise you that our little girl will know everyone who prayed for her, and
helped make us being a family, possible. If you cannot give, we understand. And
that’s okay. Just pray, pray for this situation. Pray for our little girl, Emmarie.
Pray for strength for her birth mom. This journey we are on is far from over.
But look what the Lord has done!
To donate, you can do so here. And you have the option to make the donation anonymous.
or adopt a puzzle piece for $20.00 – when you adopt a puzzle
piece, we will put your name of the back of one of the pieces, and once all
pieces have sold, we will assemble the puzzle and have it framed in two sided
glass, so that our little baby Emmarie can see all who helped bring home, our
missing piece!
We love you, and can never thank you enough!
Love,
Amber, Kevin & Emmarie
Comments
Post a Comment